Pregnancy Options - Becoming a Parent

Parenting with a Partner  Most of us look forward to finding a life partner — someone to share the pleasures, responsibilities, and difficulties of family life. With or without marriage, a life partnership can succeed if both people are deeply committed to make it work and understand what each expects from the relationship. Remember, a child can bring joy and many other rewards to a relationship. The responsibilities of becoming a parent can also strain the best relationship. If your commitment is not solid, the relationship may fail. Here are some things to consider if you are thinking about parenting with a partner:

1. I'll get what I want in life if I start a family now.
2. My/his parents are pushing us into marriage.
3. We're both financially and emotionally ready.
4. We get upset when we talk about a long-term, committed relationship.
5. I know what to expect of my partner.
6. My partner knows what to expect of me
7. Marriage will make us feel less guilty about sex.
8. He knows that he shares responsibility for childcare and housework.
9. We'd stay together even if I weren't pregnant.
10. I'm prepared to be a single parent if things don’t work out between us.

Think about what your answers mean to you. You may want to discuss your answers with your partner, someone in your family, a friend, a trusted religious advisor, or your counselor.

Parenting Without a Partner  The challenge of raising a child alone can also be exciting and rewarding. It is easier if you find and use all the support you can. Be sure to let family and friends know that you hope for their support before you decide to become a single parent. Even with the help of your family and friends, being a single parent is not easy. Your child's needs will constantly change and so will your ability to meet those needs. Your child will look to you for love and care — all day, every day. And you can take great pleasure helping your child grow into a happy, independent, and responsible adult. Some of the biggest challenges faced by single parents include:

• Finding convenient, quality, affordable childcare
• Earning enough money to support yourself and your child
• Giving up your freedom in order to focus on your child

Because your child will need you so much, you may become more dependent on your own family and friends — for help with the child, for emotional support, and for money. On the other hand, because you will not have to make compromises with a partner, you can raise the child as you wish — with your values, principles, and beliefs. Parenting requires lots of love and unlimited energy and patience. There will be times when you may feel that you are not doing a good job at it. To feel good about being a single parent, it must be what you want to do — for a long time. You already know what that means if you have other children. If you don't, talk with a single mother or with a counselor who works with single mothers.

Here are some things to consider if you are thinking about parenting without a partner.

• 1. Loving my baby will get me through hard times.
• 2. I'm being pressured to keep the baby.
• 3. I'm willing to put school and career on hold.
• 4. I'll be more dependent on other people.
• 5. Money won't be a problem.
• 6. My baby will give me all the love I need.
• 7. I have someone I trust to provide childcare
• 8. Having another child will strengthen my family.
• 9. I'll find a life partner more easily with a child.
• 10.My family and friends will be supportive.

Think about what your answers mean to you. You may want to discuss your answers with someone in your family, a friend, a trusted religious advisor, or your counselor.

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