Developmental Disabilities and Puberty

Teaching Tips for Parents

• If you’re just starting to have conversations around sexuality with your child, regardless of their age, it can be helpful to start out by letting them know what you want to talk about and then asking them what they’ve heard. For example, "You’re body is going through a lot of changes right now, it’s called puberty. I want to talk to you about getting your period. What have you heard about girls getting their period?" If they haven’t heard anything you can say, "That’s okay, that’s why we’re going to talk about it today. Sometimes people are embarrassed to talk about such private things even though it’s normal." It is also helpful to try out different names or slang terms to assess their knowledge (e.g., "Some people say ‘menstruation’ or ‘on the rag’ to talk about girls being on their period.")
• Acknowledge ahead of time that it’s okay to feel embarrassed and that they may hear words they’ve never used or heard before. Be prepared for some laughter, which can reflect nervousness or comfort level. If your child does laugh, you can validate their feelings with statements such as, "I know it can be embarrassing to talk about private body parts."
• When using correct terms for body parts or their function, it is often helpful to ask your child what words they have heard or used in place of the correct word. This will give you a sense of what they know and the words they typically use. Acknowledge that people may use lots of different words to describe the same body part or their function, but they are going to practice and try to remember to use correct names/terms, etc. It can also be a time to talk about why some words are not ‘okay’ (i.e., slang words that are offensive to others.)
• Remember that you don’t need to be an expert to educate your child. Discovering answers to questions together can be a valuable learning experience for your child as he or she learns the skill of knowing where and to whom to turn to get answers.

• Professionals (educators, teachers, direct care staff, etc.) should establish a group agreement or a set of ground rules before addressing topics of sexuality. It is important to set a positive tone and create an atmosphere where people feel comfortable and able to ask questions. Common ground rules include:

  • One person talks at a time
  • All questions are welcome
  • Personal questions are off limits
  • Different opinions are okay

• It’s beneficial to give examples of each ground rule that is set and to talk about how people feel when a ground rule isn’t followed (i.e., the social and emotional implications). For instance, an example might be given about "Susie" asking a question and someone laughs and says, "Everybody knows that!" Discussion can revolve around how that would make Susie feel and how that might make others feel about asking questions.
• Establishing ground rules is helpful even if you are meeting with a group one time, or simply having a 1:1 conversation with someone. It is often helpful to write the ground rules down and have them posted so that the group/person can see them.
• Acknowledge ahead of time that it’s okay to feel embarrassed and that they may hear words they’ve never used or heard before. It should be recognized that some laughter is acceptable due to nervousness or comfort level. In a group setting, it will be necessary for the adult to determine if laughter is a response to feeling uncomfortable or directed towards others. In the case of the latter, it will be important to refer back to the ground rules.
• When using correct terms for body parts or their function, it is often helpful to ask the person/group what words they have heard or used in place of the correct word. This will give you a sense of what they know and the words they typically use. Acknowledge that people may use lots of different words to describe the same body part or their function, but the group is going to practice and try to remember to use correct names/terms, etc. It can also be a time to talk about why some words are not ‘okay’ (i.e., slang words that are offensive to others.)

If you or your staff want more information about sexuality and developmental disabilities, PPC offers a wide range of in-service trainings that can be brought to your organization or school. Each training is tailored to meet your unique needs and can range from a 2-hour session to a full-day training. Please call the Planned Parenthood Education and Training Department in New Haven to discuss your needs at 203.865.5158. 

Activity for Educators: Changes in Perspiration and Body Odor

Other Resources:

James Stanfield
Diverse City Press

The following resources are available for use from Planned Parenthood of Connecticut. These resources include curriculum, videos and teaching materials that are specifically designed to meet the needs of individuals with developmental disabilities. PPC provides the professional service of working with staff to show you how to use and/or adapt these materials to meet your specific needs; PPC is also able to provide educational sessions for individuals and/or groups on many issues of sexuality. Please call the Planned Parenthood Education and Training Department in New Haven to discuss your needs at 203.865.5158 or email us. 

Curriculum/Materials:

• Changes in You, The Curriculum by Peggy Siegel, M.S.
  This curriculum consists of a series of laminated picture cards and lesson plans to help young people (grades 4 through 9) understand the changes of puberty and feel comfortable about their body. Each picture card correlates with a lesson plan and has objectives, information and teaching questions on the back. Lesson plans include teaching strategies, which vary in complexity so that they may be adapted to meet the needs of an individual or a particular group. The curriculum also includes an appendix of tests designed to assess the level of student understanding.

  Other materials by Peggy Siegel:

• Changes in You: A Clearly Illustrated, Simply Worded Explanation of the Changes of Puberty for Boys
  Changes in You: A Clearly Illustrated, Simply Worded Explanation of the Changes of Puberty for Girls
  Printed for the fourth time in 1997, these books explain the changes that boys and girls experience during puberty. Topics include physical development, anatomy, masturbation, health, doctor’s visits, public and private behaviors, and unwanted touch. The boy’s book also addresses wet dreams, and the girl’s book addresses menstruation. Parent’s guides are available for sons and daughters with special needs.
  
• Life Horizons I by Winifred Kemptom, M.S.W., Instructional design by James Stanfield, Ed.D.
  Life Horizons I is a series of slides with a teacher’s guide and accompanying scripts to provide information about the physiological and psychological aspects of sexuality and socialization. 
  This resource is made up of five programs: "Parts of the Body," "Sexual Life Cycle," "Human Reproduction," "Birth Control," and "Sexually Transmitted Diseases."
•  
• Teaching Persons with Mental Retardation about Sexuality & Relationships by June Kogut & Susan Vilardo
  A guide to use in helping you how to teach sexuality education to persons with mental retardation. This guide consists of nine different sections such as reproduction, relationships, and manners & grooming

   

Videos

             Hand Made Love: A Guide For Teaching About Male Masturbation by Dave Hingsburger
             This book and video set discusses privacy, pleasure and the realities of sharing living spaces with others. 
             The narrator of the video  talks about myths and suggests that masturbation can be a way of learning about
             sex, while the book discusses masturbation from the point of view of both health and pleasure.

            Finger Tips: A Guide For Teaching About Female Masturbation by Dave Hingsburger and Sandra Haar
            This book and video set is aimed at teaching women with developmental disabilities about masturbation. It also
            confronts typical myths about female sexuality. A gentle, positive film that is clear, graphic and dignified. The
            book includes a step by step photographic essay about masturbation, and the joy of private time.

              Things My Mother Never Told Me (15 minutes)
           This description of female anatomy and physiology is presented in a clear manner. The fertility cycle of a
           woman is explained, followed by basic contraceptive information.